as an added distraction.

when i was younger i enjoyed a good, solid fantasy novel [ still do, but have fun trying to get me to admit that in person. ] between tolkien, tamora pierce, and redwall, i discovered the golden compass. and lo and behold! it is being made into a movie. as a promotion for the film, the website allows you to take a quiz to determine your daemon. which was, of course, the real draw of the books in my mind. i present to you:

happiness.

happiness truly is a warm puppy. for those of you who doubt me, i present exhibit A, which for purposes of this blog, has been pre-marked and pre-admitted into evidence.



i would also like to say that my current joy is further compounded by harvard's newly released report, "the israeli-hezbollah war of 2006: the media as a weapon in asymmetrical conflict". despite the fact that numerous falsified photographs were circulated around the world, a single major news outlet [possibly with the exception of fox, but nobody watches/listens to fox that hasn't already made up their mind] has yet to pursue the issue.



















i think cox & forkum's humorous interpretation of the situation is spot-on. the best part of it is, the wingnuts on the leftist side of things wouldn't dare criticize harvard, because it is, after all, a sacred institution of liberal education.

it's times like these that i smile like this.

bats.

i could make the joke about going batty during finals. but i think it's too easy. so instead i'll just say this about austin's favorite winged mammals: if you touch one, and you fall ill, then look at it as nature's way of enforcing natural selection in a time of unnatural survival.

law students are not .... the best of people during the run-up to finals.

finals bring out the worst in us. the petty, snarling, resource-grubbing, moody beasts that thomas hobbes envisioned us to be.

i love hobbes. both of them. i find his philosophy to more or less justify a substantive lack of trust in people, and that sounds so much better than just saying, "people suck."

'cause, you know, that's dicta.

happy birthday

yom huledet sameach, israel!

after israel observes memorial day [yom hazikaron], the country moves on to celebrate its creation. today, israel turns 59.

and through the gunsmoke, policy mishaps, religious fervor, and global disdain, i think israel, for a 59 year old nation, is doing pretty damn well.

especially since one of my friends in tel aviv sent me this.

it's nice to know that in spite of the terrorist attacks and constant derision aimed at the populace, they still manage to cultivate a fantastic sense of humor.

i hate the media.

of course, that can't be taken as an absolute. however, the tragedy at virginia tech has underscored the sensationalism of popular media.

i learn nothing, absolutely nothing, when an academic who wrote an article about columbine spouts off his opinion regarding school shootings. i also learn nothing when talking heads interview fbi agents from california regarding their opinions on how the situation should have been handled.

newsflash: the tragedy happened. your professional hindsight only serves to rub salt in open wounds, at worst. at best, you're preaching to people who have no control over campus security and sit on their couches under the impression that you, talking head, you could have stopped the massacre if only you had been in charge.

that is disingenuous and disrespectful, frankly. virginia tech's campus police are JUST that: campus police. given their training and protocol, they did the absolute best that they could, and should be commended for their quick rescue of injured victims. will the news underscore the fact that some of the students who were saved might have bled out if not for paramedic and police aid? ** addendum: and also if not for individual acts of heroism that i have yet to see in american mainstream media? ** further addendum: aforementioned individual act of heroism was perpetrated by a romanian shoah survivor. further proof that what we should have learned from the shoah is that good people cannot do nothing and expect to remain good. also phrased by panther as, "he knew what happens when good people stand by and do nothing." kiddush hashem.

whatever happened to respect in the media? smearing faces and bloody images across the screen feeds fear, and doesn't entirely serve the original purpose of the media: disseminating knowledge. if it's all about finding the right theme music [ all of it sounds ripped from jaws ] and properly shocking sound byte, then count me out.

i've got hollywood for that, thank you.

dayan haemet.

condolences to all those involved in the virginia tech shootings.

may you be comforted among all of the mourners.

weekend update.

today is a day for remembering, since we're observing yom hashoah.

this makes me sick. for israel to fail so miserably when it comes to the very people it was founded to protect is a travesty, in my opinion. i understand that a burgeoning government budgets leaves little room for the maintenance of shoah survivor care - what i don't understand is why there has been no attempt on the part of the knesset to reconcile the budget to the needs of these citizens.

this underscores the depths of human depravity. even children are not immune to the thrill of enforcing superiority over others. in a slightly humorous bent, i find it mildly amusing that a texas school made israeli news.

and this is proof that despite all of its flaws, israel is trying. it's trying to remember. unfortunately the trials of the past are clouded, making it difficult to apply the lessons to the current middle eastern situation.

i guess hindsight isn't necessarily 20/20. and that's not to say that israel is a failure of democracy. far from it. i just hold ha'aretz [and america] to a higher standard because i can, because some sick optimistic streak in my heart tells me that we are capable of achieving and surpassing that standard.

of course, then i remember that i'm in law school, and i was supposed to check my romanticism at the door.

hats off.

to you, mr. vonnegut. anyone who fancies himself or herself a writer of darkly saturated humor owes you a huge debt of gratitude.

i suggest "harrison bergeron" as a good place to start with vonnegut. mother night is also exceptionally good, although neither can really compare to slaughterhouse-five.

i'm not even going to attempt a eulogy [eugoogley, according to mr. zoolander] for mr. vonnegut. instead, what follows is a favorite passage of mine from "harrison bergeron":

and then, neutralizing gravity with love and pure will, they remained suspended in air inches below the ceiling, and they kissed each other for a long, long time.

circle of life

oh, springtime.

that glorious time of year when the sun's rays slant ever so happily against the northern hemisphere, creating the perfect environment for love-addled teenagers, squirrels, and mockingbirds to publicly demonstrate the strength of their romance.

of course, it's also that wonderful time of year when people get the "itch." and i'm not talking about a disgusting dermatological disease. i'm talking about the "itch" that young men and women get to leave the chains of relationship-bondage and run screaming back into the liberated world of "single."

now, i myself have not fallen prey to the "itch." thank g-d. but i know people who have. and whether or not that decision to flee was the right one has yet to be seen. i just wish them the best.

sidenote: make the pollen go away. and tell sybil to quit messing with the austin weather.

**addendum: it has been a long day, and it's only eleven. in the morning. however, i thought i would take this time to drag my soapbox out from under the bed and stand on it again. law school. i have yet to pontificate regarding the hazards of law school, but it's about to start. law school is something like an a la carte menu of psychological disorders exacerbated by close proximity and external pressure. megalomania? section 3. generalized anxiety disorder? down the hallway. i am constantly amazed at law school's ability to break even the most confident of fraternity members.

this should be taken with a grain of salt. if you happen to be a natural at the law, then i'm sure none of this applies to you. of course, then you should be at yale, or harvard, and far away from me. additionally, should you find yourself to be a savant, you ought to get yourself checked out by the federal government for high levels of radiation, because only nuclear exposure could turn a human being into the kind of freak experiment that would "naturally" understand future interests.

i do enjoy the subject matter. there's something oddly satisfactory about crushing an objection with a "present sense impression" exception. but that's about all that's satisfactory about law school, at the moment. ask me again when my first year is over and i've started summer school.

what's that smell?

only recently has the psychological stress of coming out of the closet been brought to my attention.

it makes me very, very sad to see self-loathing boil over until you can almost smell it. it smells like fear, really, and i wonder if it's fear of the unknown or fear of society. if it's the former, then only happy experience can tame that beast. and if it's the latter, you ask?

then we have a long way to go in our quest for acceptance of universal human dignity, frankly. and i'm not idealistic or stupid [same thing? tune in next week] enough to claim that america's primary, foundational purpose is the protection of human dignity. that said, i do think, as a country, we do as good a job as anyone else. and truthfully, maybe better, though i'm not going to open that can of worms.

but watching a friend of mine squirm and persecute himself at the end of society's hook is neither something i enjoy watching or that i enjoy passively allowing to continue.

i am a short person [think napolean with two "x" chromosomes and fewer soldiers], so even when i stand on a soapbox, i'm only just as tall as everyone else screaming out their opinion into this blasted wasteland of a marketplace of ideas. i'm not asking you to become a card-carrying member of the glbt alliance [but if you do, kudos to you]. i'm just asking you to think twice before using "gay" as an insult. last i checked, its first and primary definition was "happy." and that's not insulting, is it?

unless you're trent reznor.

another slap-dash rant.

it's not actually a rant.

those of you interested in the year zero album, due out in 7 days and 9 hours [not like i'm counting], rejoice! trent reznor finally committed the ultimate act of rebellion against record labels.

the entire album has been leaked on his official website. and it's most definitely worth a listen. his singing chops are vastly improved, and he's absorbed some influences from tv on the radio [with whom he toured this summer] especially on the last song, zero sum.

also, just for your information, and the information of all those anonymous readers crouched in front of flickering, glowing screens: i adhere to a strict blogger etiquette protocol. if it appears in this blog, then i assume, rightly or wrongly, that it is now common knowledge, or at the very least, publicly disseminated. the same can be said for facebook or any other networking site on which i have virtual space. i do not have an expectation of privacy for the internet, or anything i publish over the internet. so, if i get mad at you, or otherwise express unreasonable emotion towards you for the mention of information referenced herein, do me a favor:

smack me with a dictionary open to the definition of hypocrisy.

** disclaimer: this did, in fact, turn out to be a rant.

retributive justice.

for what it's worth, my stance on the death penalty is as follows: people who put forth a deterrence argument need to be smacked upside the head with a pavlovian response paradigm. why? because deterrence really only works once you've experienced the deterrent mechanism. last i checked, you can only die once**.

the death penalty serves retributive justice, and perhaps too a rehabilitative purpose in relation to the families of those affected by the criminal act. i don't think it's too far-fetched to say that the original purpose of government was to enforce some sort of retributive legal system, and death certainly plays a role in that. if you infringe upon my natural right to life, then frankly, i assume that you've given up your natural right to life in exchange.

that said - i have sincere issues with the policy implications of the death penalty, especially as practiced in the united states. the criminal justice system is stacked against those of lesser economic standing. that is just a simple fact. if you can afford a better lawyer, the odds of your being sentenced to death decrease exponentially. there are countless cases of similar crimes committed by an african-american and a caucasian, and the end result is usually that the caucasian gets life without the possibility of parole and the african-american ends up on death row. how is that fair or right? that doesn't serve retributive justice. that serves the maxim, "with wealth comes power." so, in sum, i think the death penalty serves a purpose, and i'm not at all opposed to it.

but we need to fix the system.

i would like to apologize for the disjointed nature of this post.

in other news:

iran is celebrating national nuclear day. the president of iran [may his name be erased] is expected to announce the installation of 3000 new centrifuges.

it definitely sounds like the sanctions imposed by the united nations are working.

** again, with the disclaimer: this disregards a multitude of religious stances that state you can, in fact, die more than once. let's just stick with one lifetime for the sake of argument.

a spoonful of sugar.

in this day and age, it's very rare to find someone who isn't on medicine of some sort. pink pills, green pills, pills shaped like glandular organs. and i'm sure that some of these are just concoctions promoted aggressively by drug companies hoping for a quick buck from a public dying for a quick fix.

that said, medicine serves a purpose. far be it from me to decry skepticism as something to be avoided. i'm a law student, for crying out loud. idealism and romanticism died with my acceptance letter.

i am an advocate of natural remedies. diet, herbal supplements, and vitamins. but i recognize that there are some things that cannot be helped by st. john's wort or slippery elm. depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder are just as physical as endocrine problems or birth defects**. you cannot fix your brain chemistry. you can try and regulate it via biofeedback, acupuncture, feng shui, but if you are predisposed to a lower level of seratonin, all the logic in the world will not help hoist you out of the angry reds or the sour blues.

scientology, for this reason, gives me the symptoms of an aneurysm. "if it weren't for my horse...". thoughtfully prescribed medicine is not a crutch, or something that characterizes a patient as inherently weak. you would never hear the following conversation:

"she's on chemotherapy."
"oh, you mean she can't tough it out? pathetic."

and since depression and other mental disorders have been proven to be chemical imbalances in some cases, you likewise should not hear or promote the following:

"she's on zoloft."
"oh, you mean she can't tough it out? pathetic."

that's my two cents for the day. more like a dime, but it's pesach, so i'm running a special.

**disclaimer: this presupposes that you have been to therapy and undergone extensive psychological treatment for said disorders, and the symptoms have still not dissipated or weakened. supposedly less than 10% of depression is likely caused by chemical issues, and most of the time, those can be linked to other underlying disorders, such as hypothyroidism.

you win some

you lose some. we of the utlaw community were recently alerted by our dean that our school slipped in the usnews rankings not because we deserved it, but because we have integrity.

seriously, dean sager. we're neophyte attorneys, to be sure, but even we can smell an half-hearted attempt at spin a mile away.

give us some credit.

after all, we are at the 18th ranked law school in the country.